How I helped Paris Hilton buy a new handbag

If you know me in person, you’ll know that I’m always thoughtful and considerate of other people. Often times putting their needs before mine. Well, celebrities are no different my friends.

You see, last weekend, I had the pleasure of attending the Stamford Author Event held in Stamford Connecticut. The event was held at the Hilton (as were our rooms for the two night event).

Hilton. Fancy.

So why, do you ask, would Paris Hilton need a new handbag from ME, a struggling author, if the Hilton is so fancy? Excellent question. Glad you asked it, otherwise, this post would just be silly, and I’m a serious author. I don’t do silly.

Now, back to Paris. It appears that the Hilton’s must be down on their luck. (I know, shocker, right?) But it must be so. Otherwise, WHY would they ask us to pay 14 bucks for this?

Maybe the pastry was made by hand (and not the box that it tasted like it came from). No matter. We were hungry authors. And thirsty. Since juice was graciously included in this 14 dollar buffet, some of us partook in this delightful mix.

cramberry — the elusive and rarely seen craMberry juice. No wonder it cost so much!

No matter, we were fed. Time to crawl back into bed and search the web…oh wait, they charge ten bucks a night, per device… there were three of us with five devices. hmmmm.

After catching up on all the latest facebook had to offer, we went up to our room to check out our STELLAR VIEW!!

Isn't it breathtaking? We thought so. — Isn’t it breathtaking? We thought so.

We considered leaving the hotel to try and find some reasonably priced food (we’re authors, not Paris Hilton, after all), but alas, the Hilton thwarted those plans with their 10 dollar (per entrance) parking fee.

We were trapped.

For these reasons alone, it is clear that Paris is broke and needs to make a buck off the poor bastards that stay at the Hilton in Stamford, CT.

As for these ladies, however….we shall not be staying there again.

Hope the bag was worth it Paris.

Danielle Bannister, (Even more poor thanks to Paris Hilton) Author

4 thoughts on “How I helped Paris Hilton buy a new handbag”

Hilarious post! It was awful, wasn’t it! On Friday night I ordered a crab cake with avocado and tomato salad. Want to know what avocado and tomato salad is in Stamford “Cramberry” Hilton land? Guacamole! (And not good guac. Something from a can.) I nearly laughed my face off when I got the “How’d you like us” email from them yesterday. 🙂 Well, one good thing was that it brought us all together! Till next year! (But not there. Never again there.)