writing

I Failed.

But that was Sunday. This is today.

Let me explain. No there is too much. Let me sum up. (Bonus points if you get that reference.) In January, I gave myself a word count goal of 500 words a day, no excuses. 365 days of words. Up until Sunday, January 27, I had kept my goal. Some days by only a few words over, some by several hundred. Sunday, however…I just forgot. I plain forgot to do my word count. I didn’t look at my to-do list because I thought I’d done everything on the list. I’d made the list but didn’t check it twice. Sorry, Santa!

I blame Outlander. Again. Sunday was the season finale and instead of writing my words first thing in the morning, I watched Outlander. Then, naturally, I had to go read about what others thought. I needed to read the blogs recapping it. Chat with friends about it. Then, I had to put on pants (and later a ball gown, GASP) to do extroverted things which ate up much of the day. By Sunday night, I was exhausted and went straight to bed. Early. Shocker, I know.

Because of these factors, no words were written on Sunday. And as much as I blame Outlander or peopling, that responsibility lies on my shoulders (which are super sore and could use some TLC, but I digress.) I knew this day would come. I knew the second I came up with the idea that there would be a moment when I would not be able to enter a number on the spreadsheet. I’m disappointed. I won’t lie. I really wanted to make it longer than 27 days, but this is the time when a slip up happens. The time to make or break a habit.

So, I suppose I could take the easy way out and accept the failure and go back to doing what I was doing before in the mornings, which was mindlessly scrolling social media. Things were WAY easier then.

OR

Or I can choose to realize that I am human and I will make mistakes. I can remind myself that it is what I learn from those mistakes that will make the define the person I become. I have to pay attention to that. I have children who notice these things. Even when I don’t think they do. Even though they are at their dad’s, they see me in the mornings when they wake up Fingers on the keyboard, coffee by my side. They see that my screen is open to a word document and not social media. They see the journals by my side that outline my stories and show pictures of my characters so their creator doesn’t forget what color eyes she gave them. They see my write a word count number on my whiteboard at the end of each week logging my success. They will see a blank space on 1-27-19.

More importantly, however, they will see that on 1-28-19 there WAS a number there. There will be another number written for the 29th. Today, I did not fail. Today, I got my word count in. Today, I won.

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